{"id":1275,"date":"2021-09-21T00:40:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-21T00:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.trulythai.com\/blog\/?p=1275"},"modified":"2021-08-19T00:45:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-19T00:45:50","slug":"thai-parents-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.trulythai.com\/blog\/thai-parents-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Impress Thai Parents-in-Law"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mission: Impress Thai Parents-in-Law is easier said than done, especially for Western folks. Traditional beliefs (especially in rural parts) tend to clash with the more liberal Western practices. And when they butt heads, it\u2019s not a pretty picture. So, don\u2019t expect smooth sailing 100% of the time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asian parents are unfortunately stereotyped as overbearing folks who have a tight leash on their children, all in the name of ensuring their success. Some scholars call this \u201ctiger parenting.\u201d Thai parents get lumped into this group because, well, they\u2019re Asian parents. Also, it may have something to do with the fact that Thai culture strongly emphasizes familial connections to get by in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While some do exhibit this behavior, it doesn\u2019t mean that we should generalize a specific community\u2019s parenting methods. How about we try looking at their ways from their point of view instead? Approaching things from their shoes not only earns you brownie points, but it gives you broader perspectives as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Open-mindedness is a key to impressing any parent, really; every parent raises their kids differently, after all. Thais are no exception to this. Earn Thai parents\u2019 seal of genuine approval by keeping these expectations and considerations in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What to Expect and Do When Dealing with Thai Parents<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

1. Don\u2019t expect to hit it off with your partner\u2019s folks right off the bat<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Although times are slowly changing interracial dating norms, this one\u2019s probably standing pat. Is it frustrating? Sure! However, here\u2019s the thing: if you\u2019re culture-shocked, so are they! Different beliefs and upbringings are bound to clash, especially if the two parties are from opposite sides of the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For Thai parents, Western folks are from another planet. Aside from the looks and the possible language barrier, cultural differences may be a challenge. On top of that, they usually expect their children to be married to fellow Thais! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t get discouraged by those points, though; if you genuinely love your Thai partner, you know you\u2019ll have to exercise more patience and sensitivity when dealing with other cultures. Don\u2019t just sit there and wait for your partner\u2019s parents to give you the thumbs up! Work to earn their respect and trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Don’t leave them in the dark about your plans<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say you two have plans that may need some convincing from your Thai partner\u2019s folks. For example, both of you plan to live in your home country. Thai parents typically don\u2019t want their daughters to move overseas despite the possibility of having a better future there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As much as parents want their kids to be under their roof and supervision forever, reality sinks in: Thai adults are grown people. They\u2019re capable of making their decisions independently. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make things easier on the parents\u2019 end through concrete and thorough explanations. Paint a detailed picture of your possible future overseas so they\u2019ll see the potential too. Not only will they be kept in the loop, but they\u2019ll also learn to trust you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Get used to changes and adjustments<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

We all know that Eastern and Western cultures are starkly different. This requires a ton of adjustments on your part to try acclimating to Thai culture. If that alone isn\u2019t challenging enough, there\u2019s also the possible language barrier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most Thais consider family as their social life\u2019s foundation. One wrong move can lead to trouble in paradise. So, how does one get on Thai parents\u2019 good side?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The answer isn\u2019t as complicated you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try to reach out to your partner\u2019s parents as if they\u2019re you\u2019re own. Getting to know them won\u2019t happen overnight, so be patient and don\u2019t try to force things. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask your partner for help!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\u201cultimate\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/center>\n\n\n\n

4. It’s not about the money<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Not every Western partner is loaded with money; some of them just live simple lives, looking for the guy or girl of their dreams. Unfortunately, some Thai parents may not be too happy with that. How are you going to support their child\u2019s future if you don\u2019t have the big bucks?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, money isn\u2019t the be-all and end-all here. Convince your partner\u2019s parents that their child\u2019s with the right person by earnestly displaying your skills and knowledge. This gives them the impression that you\u2019re serious about your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gain extra brownie points by getting to know your partner\u2019s siblings (if they have any, of course!). Who knows, one simple outing may turn the tides in your favor! Ask your partner to allow your involvement in simple things like chores as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Be open-minded<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As we\u2019ve said in the intro, open-mindedness makes things a lot less stressful on your end. When dealing with the naturally conservative Thai culture, you\u2019re going to need a lot of it to counter your Western sensibilities!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thai families have a firm adherence to their motherland\u2019s culture. You can\u2019t fault them for that, though, since they were taught to do so since childhood. Their beliefs may lead them to exhibit controlling tendencies, such as their heavy (and sometimes, overbearing) involvement in their children\u2019s relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you happen to be a conservative person, this expectation may not be much of a problem for you. But if you\u2019re the opposite, your patience and tolerance meters will need tons of adjusting. You don\u2019t have to adopt the \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it\u201d strategy here just to please your partner\u2019s parents!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What you can do is adjust your meters when you\u2019re around your partner\u2019s family. Your beliefs may clash, but that doesn\u2019t mean you have to butt heads. School yourself on Thai etiquette as well! You can ask your partner for help on this one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Observe before you act<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Remember \u201ctiger parenting\u201d from the opening paragraph? This entry relates to that point. Thai parents tend to be controlling since they only want the best for their children. They also tend to believe that they\u2019re the only people who know what\u2019s good for them. This drive leads them to force their conservative and traditional values regardless if their kids like them or not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are they like this, you may ask? They expect their children to lift them financially. Don\u2019t be surprised if they won\u2019t let their children be free (especially daughters) since they have a <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Families like these aren\u2019t easy to deal with, so tread carefully! If you see some manipulative tactics from parents in play, don\u2019t report your observations to your partner just yet. Only they can solve that problem since it\u2019s a family affair. If your partner willingly lets their parents control her life, you may want to step back and think about your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Don’t mind the whispers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Tongues will wag when people spot you with your partner. This is especially true in Thai society since your partner\u2019s pretty close with neighbors and other friends in their community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While gossip is inevitable, it doesn\u2019t make it less annoying. Maybe people talk because they\u2019re jealous of what you two have and don\u2019t have much going on in their lives. Don\u2019t be that person and stoop to their level! You\u2019ll just give them more ammo. Pay no mind to the naysayers\u2014after all, it\u2019s YOUR relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want them to get off your case, ask your partner to tell their nosy friends and neighbors about how wonderful you are without their peering eyes. That declaration may start to shut them up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Don’t be the ex<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

No, this isn\u2019t a shoutout to their ex! (*cue the Little Mix song<\/a>*<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s usually okay if you aren\u2019t your partner\u2019s first boyfriend or girlfriend. However, many Thai families are hung up on the idea of the \u201cfirst love.\u201d We can\u2019t blame them for that, really; who wouldn\u2019t forget the first person they introduced to their parents?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re not the first guy or gal that entered their doors, don\u2019t be surprised if they\u2019ll be distant towards you. Don\u2019t let this discourage you too; you don\u2019t have to be the ex to prove your worth. The ex is the ex for a reason, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Win everyone over through your sincerity! You two aren\u2019t together for nothing, yes? Show the parents why their child is right in choosing you as their partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Earn their trust<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

By now, you\u2019d know that Thai parents are different from their Western counterparts. Trust isn\u2019t handed on a silver platter, requiring you to work for it. Brace yourself for questions regarding your career, family, and other nonnegotiables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t give your partner\u2019s parents a reason to distrust you. Build rapport by showing old pictures of your life out West. This allows them to get to know you better, along with gaining a few laughs in between! Your partner can also help you out by naturally bringing you up in family conversations, even if you\u2019re not around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Stand your ground on the subject of kids<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Raising kids is hard enough. Growing up in Thai society is another story. We haven\u2019t even mentioned how kids are going to deal with their environment growing up!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, you call the shots here. After all, they are YOUR kids. You\u2019ll be the to decide things like picking out the school that\u2019s right for them. However, in-laws will get involved in raising your kid(s). Decisions will clash, and heads will butt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The best thing you can do here is to explain and convince your partner\u2019s parents why you two made your decision. Do allow them to get involved since they do <\/em>have good intentions. Just draw the line when too much is too much, okay?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you ready to meet the parents? Just follow this entry and work from there. Good luck!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mission: Impress Thai Parents-in-Law is easier said than done, especially for Western folks. Traditional beliefs (especially in rural parts) tend to clash with the more liberal Western practices. And when they butt heads, it\u2019s not a pretty picture. So, don\u2019t expect smooth sailing 100% of the time! Asian parents are unfortunately stereotyped as overbearing folks who have a tight leash on their children, all in the name of ensuring their success. Some scholars call this \u201ctiger parenting.\u201d Thai parents get lumped into this group because, well, they\u2019re Asian parents. Also, it may have something to do with the fact that Thai culture strongly emphasizes familial connections to get by in life. While some do exhibit this behavior, it doesn\u2019t mean that we should generalize a specific community\u2019s parenting methods. How about we try looking at their ways from their point of view instead? Approaching things from their shoes not only earns you brownie points, but it gives you broader perspectives as well.  Open-mindedness is a key to impressing any parent, really; every parent raises their kids differently, after all. Thais are no exception to this. Earn Thai parents\u2019 seal of genuine approval by keeping these expectations and considerations in mind. What to Expect and Do When Dealing with Thai Parents 1. Don\u2019t expect to hit it off with your partner\u2019s folks right off the bat Although times are slowly changing interracial dating norms, this one\u2019s probably standing pat. Is it frustrating? Sure! However, here\u2019s the thing: if you\u2019re culture-shocked, so are they! Different beliefs and upbringings are bound to clash, especially if the two parties are from opposite sides of the globe. For Thai parents, Western folks are from another planet. Aside from the looks and the possible language barrier, cultural differences may be a challenge. On top of that, they usually expect their children to be married to fellow Thais!  Don\u2019t get discouraged by those points, though; if you genuinely love your Thai partner, you know you\u2019ll have to exercise more patience and sensitivity when dealing with other cultures. Don\u2019t just sit there and wait for your partner\u2019s parents to give you the thumbs up! Work to earn their respect and trust. 2. Don’t leave them in the dark about your plans Let\u2019s say you two have plans that may need some convincing from your Thai partner\u2019s folks. For example, both of you plan to live in your home country. Thai parents typically don\u2019t want their daughters to move overseas despite the possibility of having a better future there. As much as parents want their kids to be under their roof and supervision forever, reality sinks in: Thai adults are grown people. They\u2019re capable of making their decisions independently.  Make things easier on the parents\u2019 end through concrete and thorough explanations. Paint a detailed picture of your possible future overseas so they\u2019ll see the potential too. Not only will they be kept in the loop, but they\u2019ll also learn to trust you. 3. Get used to changes and adjustments We all know that Eastern and Western cultures are starkly different. This requires a ton of adjustments on your part to try acclimating to Thai culture. If that alone isn\u2019t challenging enough, there\u2019s also the possible language barrier. Most Thais consider family as their social life\u2019s foundation. One wrong move can lead to trouble in paradise. So, how does one get on Thai parents\u2019 good side? The answer isn\u2019t as complicated you think. Try to reach out to your partner\u2019s parents as if they\u2019re you\u2019re own. Getting to know them won\u2019t happen overnight, so be patient and don\u2019t try to force things. Don\u2019t be afraid to ask your partner for help!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1286,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Impress Thai Parents-in-Law - The TrulyThai Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to impress your partner's Thai parents? 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